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What is the difference between being bisexual and being demisexual?
The way we, as a society, think about sexual orientation, romantic preferences and gender identity has evolved a great deal over the past several years.
It’s understandable that we find ourselves overwhelmed. We hear these words and we’re not sure what they mean. The abundance of information is confusing. Why do you even start?
If you’re looking for a great book to read on the subject, I recommend the ABC’s of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardell. It’s a great resource with a lot of detailed definitions and explanations.
We now have terms that refer to the conditions under which sexual attraction develops, the conditions under which romantic attraction develop and the genders identities of the people on the recieveing end of the attraction.
What is Demisexuality?
First things first, demisexual is a term used to describe the conditions under which sexual attractions develops.
A demisexual experiences sexual attraction only in the presence of a strong emotional bond.
They are people who find most of their relationships born out of friendships. Chances are people who identify as demiesexual rarely, if ever, find themselves with a crush on a celebrity or stranger.
There is little to no interest in pursuing sexual activities in the absence of an emotional bond.
One important thing to note is that according to this definition, the emotional connection and the resulting sexual attraction can happen between anyone. There is no gender specification regarding the person experiencing the sexual attraction or the person they direct the attraction towards.
What is Bisexuality?
Bisexuality is a term used to describe the gender of the person receiving the sexual attraction.
A bisexual person experiences sexual attraction toward both male and female people.
It’s important to not that this sexual attraction can occur with or without an emotional connection.
How do Bisexuality and Demisexuality relate?
In what ways is being bisexual different from being demisexual? How are they the same?
The easy answer is you can be both bisexual and demisexual at the same time.
It’s not hard to imagine a person who experiences sexual attraction to both men and women but only after forming an emotional connection.
It is also perfectly acceptable to choose one label or the other to apply to yourself.
Demisexuality and bisexuality are two different but interconnected things. It would be perfectly reasonable for a person to identify as both demi- and bi- but it’s equally acceptable for someone to identify as only one.
Demisexuality refers only to the conditions under which sexual attraction develops. You can be gay, straight, pan or bi and demisexual.
In Conclusion
Labels are a personal choice and they are all about what feels best and most comfortable for you.
The label you choose can be as vague or specific as you want it to be. You may adapt any, all or even no labels to help yourself and others understand your gender and sexual identity.
Whatever your decision, remember you don’t have to justify your labels to anyone and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
