Can you be gay and demisexual at the same time? The easy answer is YES!!! You can be gay and demisexual at the same time.
The explanation, as with most intimate and personal matters is a bit more complicated.
Human sexuality is a complicated subject. It’s a field of study full of debate, questions, conditions and biases. Over the last few years the vocabulary we use to describe the people we’re attracted to and the situations we experience attraction in have has grown a lot.
We are now living in a time where we have the words we need to specifically describe our sexual attractions and preferences. As wonderful as the new and inclusive language is, it can also be confusing.
When we’re talking about sexuality, especially from the perspective of a demisexual, it is sometimes useful to distinguish who we’re attracted to and the conditions under which that attraction occurs.
It’s also important to remember that the labels we use can change over time and across situations. Changing labels doesn’t make any past, current, or future labels any less valid. What it means is that you’ve grown as a person, gotten to know yourself better, become more comfortable with your desires.
Whatever your identity is, if it feels right to you, it’s valid. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
What is Demisexuality?
Demisexuality is one word we can use to describe the situations or circumstances under which a person experiences sexual attraction.
To put it simply, demisexuality is a sexual preference where the emotional connection comes before sexual attraction.
While every emotional bond doesn’t lead to sexual attraction, every instance of sexual attraction starts with an emotional bond.
Because it is so rare for a demisexual to experience sexual attraction or desire, it’s not unheard of for them to but put under the label of asexuality. However, this label fits about as well as the other labels we try to place upon ourselves and leads to years of confusion and frustration.
The easy answer is to say an emotional connection is a mandatory precursor to sexual attraction, and we all know how difficult and rare it is to develop a meaningful emotional connection, a demisexual may seem to have much less interest in sexual activity than the general population.
When a demisexual has a crush or feels attraction to somebody, it’s a big deal!
What is Homosexuality?
Homosexuality is a term used to describe the sex or gender of the people you are sexually attracted to.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, homosexuality is the quality or characteristic of being attracted exclusively people of one’s own gender or sex.
As with all other aspects of human sexuality, homosexuality is difficult to concisely explain. The experience of being homosexual is different for everyone.
Can I be Gay and Demisexual at the same time?
The short answer is: YES, absolutely.
Demisexuality refers to the circumstances or conditions under which a person feels sexual attraction and doesn’t offer any stipulation for the gender of the person they’re attracted to.
As a sexual orientation, demisexuality is a testament to the emotional bond between the demisexual and the object of their attraction. It’s valid to add a label describing the gender or sexual identity of the preferred object of your attraction.
YES you absolutely can be demisexual and homosexual at the same time.
Choose the label/ labels that fit you and your current situation. As we learn more about ourselves and others around us, our labels may very well change and that’s ok. Be as specific as you want to or feel comfortable being.
The Gay Demisexual or Demi-homosexual
So, what does this look like if somebody is both gay and demisexual?
Chances are it’s not all that different from any other gay or demisexual person you might know.
A gay demisexual experiences sexual attraction only to people of their own sex or gender. This sexual attraction, however, will only occur after an emotional connection has been established.
