Do demisexuals have sex? The question you’ve probably been too shy to ask… in short the answer is “yes,” demisexuals have sex, why wouldn’t they?
Remember that time we talked about demisexuals and masturbation? It’s ok if you don’t we’re just going to recap really quickly.
I just want to remind you that being demisexual is different from being asexual. We’re not void of sexual feelings and being demisexual doesn’t diminish a persons desire or ability to experience sexual pleasure or enjoyment. It’s just that we need an emotional attachment before we find ourselves sexually attracted to a person.
Sexual Attraction vs. Sexual Activity
Let’s not forget, there is a big difference between sexual attraction and sexual activity. We know it is very possible to feel sexual attraction toward somebody and not have sex with them. What is sometimes harder to believe is that it is equally possible to have sex with someone without being sexually attracted to them.
There are many perfectly reasonable and equally valid reason to have sex that don’t require sexual attraction. For example:
- Connection and intimacy
- To experiment and see what all the fuss is about
- For fun and pleasure
- To bond and build an emotional connection
- To become pregnant
A demisexual may have sex for any of these reasons or for something completely different.
Sexual attraction doesn’t have to be the deciding factor in whether or not to have sex. If a demisexual, or anyone else chooses to have sex, for any reason, the decision is completely valid
Demisexuals and Sex
How do Demisexuals Feel About Sex?
Like any group demisexuals have different outlooks and feelings towards sex.
Sex Favorable – It’s very possible for a demisexual to desire and enjoy sex – especially with the addition of an emotional connection. But, even in the absense of such connection, they may still desire sex and intimacy.
Sex Indifferent – A demisexual may find themselves indifferent toward sex and sexual activities. They aren’t actively opposed to it, they aren’t disgusted by it but they’re also not seeking it out and don’t feel as though it’s a necessary part of their life.
Sex Repulsed – People in this group find themselves repulsed by the thought of sex. This means they dislike sex and thoughts of sex. They have no desire to have it. These feelings are especially strong in the absence of an emotional connection.
Whether or not demisexuals have sex or not depends on the way they view the act Regardless of how a demisexual views sex, their feelings of sexual attraction hinge on the existence of an emotional connection.
The Pressure to have Sex
There is a certain amount of pressure on demisexual and asexual people to be “normal,” to have sex – one night stands, casual flings, etc. This pressure can take a toll on a person.
It’s not always easy to say no, to explain why it’s not so easy for you to do what everyone else seems to do so easily. Sometimes it’s not so easy to understand yourself.
In order to alleviate some of the pressure a demisexual may have sex even in the absence of sexual attraction.
Sex and Sexual Attraction
Perhaps the biggest challenge for a demisexual who wants to have sex is finding someone they are sexually attracted to. We know that demisexuals feel sexual attraction only after an emotional bond has been formed and, let’s be honest, that bond isn’t always simple or easy to find.
That emotional bond doesn’t form overnight so establishing a sexual connection can take a significant amount of time and effort.
See, all our lives we’re told that sex is better with someone we love, someone we’re connected to. For a demisexual this is common sense, we might have little or no desire to have sex without that connection.
However, most people can push that aside and have sex – one night stands, casual flings, etc. – until they find that connection. They desire the intimacy and connection of sex even with people they don’t have an emotional bond with.
It’s that difference that makes physical intimacy so challenging for demisexuals. We can’t push our desire for an emotional connection aside in the interest of having a good time.
The answer to the question, “do demisexuals have sex?” is yes, just in very specific circumstances.